the courage to create

when i completed the painting above at a friend’s birthday party, i began to debunk 20 year old assumptions about what i can do — i can create art too.

growing up with two accountants for parents, i was taught to value STEM subjects. so i worked hard in science class, got good grades, and began the cycle of believing this is where my talents lie.

however, somewhere along the line, i also learned i wasn’t talented in artistic pursuits. i grew to believe that anyone who could impress (or at least not frustrate) our art teacher must have been insanely gifted as opposed to someone who had put in many practice hours the way i did with science.

this was learned helplessness in practice. the stress from below average performance in art made me believe i had no control over the situation. we all learn from our environments but we don’t always learn the right lessons and the right lessons don’t always stay right.

all that learning (that i am much better at STEM than art) has to be coupled with unlearning (that with effort i can create art that others appreciate). When i completed my painting and showed it to the rest of the group, I was truly delighted that others were impressed.

but why hadn’t i unlocked my potential even earlier?

on always producing

i was first introduced to the concept of ‘always produce’ by my dad who was never big on movies, television, or sports games. he often said that people you see on the news aren’t sitting in front of their TVs. that wasn’t a lesson about popularity/fame but rather about how creating is more important than consuming in living a fulfilled life.

however, it was only after creating the painting that it clicked for me that, ‘always produce’ wasn’t limited to serious STEM projects. it also meant I could find satisfaction, discover new abilities, and crush old assumptions by repeatedly putting in effort into building new things.

so if my dad taught me to ‘always produce’ a long time ago, what has then been holding me back? three things.

for one, we can blame our education system which has lost the role of play and nature. bruises on the playground, smelling and touching plants, and make-believe games with peers all provide rich experiences creating adults who take risks, make aesthetic products, and express their creativity collaboratively. the focus on excelling on standardized tests and grades is constantly pulling us away from the habit of creating.

the second reason i forgot to ‘always create’ is more personal – my own insecurity. see, previously, i wouldn’t have even tried to complete a painting at a birthday party with plenty of eyes to embarrass myself in front of. my trademark move, in a situation like that, is to make an ‘abstract painting’ which, for me, meant a low bar for effort as well as the result.

there’s nothing wrong about taking it easy, but because i prioritize my growth and continuous development, i know it’s okay to fail while trying but not okay to fail to try.

the third reason why i forgot my dad’s lesson to always produce, is that i got closed-minded about what producing means. i often find myself trying to apply a filter for what kind of creation i would excel at or that will provide the highest return on investment.

but producing is not just about the end product. and creating art is not just reserved for a special class of artists. we grow in the process of creating and this enables us to learn more about ourselves and the world even if we're not creating a Picasso or the next Google.

it all boils down to action

the message to create over consuming has especially resonated with me because i have realized that my most important values - excellence/achievement as well as relationship with others - are deeply rooted in building. in creating. whether its creatively bringing an idea to life in a consumer product like an app or book; or thoughtfully crocheting a sweater or organizing a surprise birthday party.

to that end, i am starting a weekly log of things that i create ranging from code at my job to events with friends and parodies of songs that i create. this will reward the habit of producing and reinforce that all forms of creation count.

if i could, i would go back in time, grab my 12 yo self by the collar, look him in the eye with all his creative art classmates watching, and tell him that trying hard to create things, almost anything, no matter how poorly or well, is at the very core of a meaningful life.

that’s what i’m telling myself now. in a sense, all creation is art.

‘to learn and not to do is actually to not learn, and to know and not to do, is actually to not know’ - Stephen Covey

what will you create today?

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Thanks to Grace Joseph, Khaya Kingston, and Pia Singh for reading drafts of this.

“I like art a lot but I love artists.

I love the stories behind their work.

The characters, lopping off ears,

rankling the establishment with paintings of soup cans.

Often boldly revealing themselves to our keen observation and insight

or scrutiny

What a marvelous thing, the courage to create.”

– Raymond Reddington, The Blacklist.