Trio #1: Our nonlinear world, pigs, and self-compassion
Trios are short mashups of 3 ideas that I have a burning desire to share. Each idea is too short to be a full post but too interesting to go unsaid.
#1 We live in a (terribly) nonlinear world
Linearity is having a response or output that is directly proportional to the input. Nonlinearity: changes in the output do not change in direct proportion to changes in any of the inputs.
Many of our experiences tend to follow a nonlinear relationship, and frequently in surprising ways. Here are 3 examples.
First, our capacity for productivity or relaxation follows a nonlinear relationship with time. If you’re a morning person, like me as of this writing, you may be more than 3 times as productive from 8 - 10 am compared to 8 - 10 pm. But night owls may feel like a trainwreck if they’re up before 10 am. All hours aren’t equal. We don’t spend time linearly.
Second, solving problems and studying is also nonlinear to your applied effort. I’ve spent a lot of time in the last 2 weeks studying for midterms, and you probably did too. My friend, Justin, made an astute observation about our study cycle. Let’s imagine it takes 100 hours to study for a midterm.
Justin’s Law (totally made up) states that in the first 60 or so hours, you seem to observe no improvement in your performance, after which you rapidly gain competence till about 80 hours in. After, you tend to have diminishing returns.
Astute readers might realize this is a different framing of the idea of learning curves, except it takes longer to even begin to see improvement. So when you’re studying, be patient and kind to yourself, you just need to put in the time to get to your desired level of understanding.
Third, Nonlinearity is why Habits compound. I wrote about James Clear’s Atomic Habits in “How to build good habits” but one thing, of many, that I didn’t mention is that your small efforts towards a habit build up until you reach an unforeseen tipping point and unlock a new level of performance.
I got to a tipping point with swimming. Months ago when I started swimming, I struggled to complete 50m, 2 laps of the pool. Yeah I know, my cardio was terrible. This is one reason I began to swim. But just yesterday, I was able to swim 4 continuous laps even though I only unlocked 3 laps two weeks ago. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when it happened, but my cardio has definitely improved.
You’re not seeing the results of your habit yet? Don’t give up. Let compounding do its thing.
#2 Pig satisfied or human dissatisfied
Let’s define a Game as a context where you spend resources (time and energy), and you can measure success using a universal or self-defined metric. I know that’s vague, bear with me. In this sense, life itself is a game that you invest your time into and maximize for pleasant experiences, positive impact, etc
Last summer, some friends and I were discussing the popular philosophical question: would you rather be a pig satisfied or human dissatisfied. I think the answer depends on your objective in the game of life.
In fact, this question made me wonder and ask what games are worth playing, even if you’ll likely lose. There are two types of games.
First, Games that are not worth playing at all. Some games don’t feel good whether you win or you lose. For instance, you might have learned enough about a certain field, say Biology, to know you detest it. Yes you could hustle to take a more advanced class in this field, but if you fail, you’ll feel horrible, and if you succeed you wouldn’t be very happy except that it’s over.
Reading bad books is a Game that is not worth playing. Last week, I stopped reading the Undoing Project by Michael Lewis. I rarely do this. The book just wasn’t what I was expecting. (I wanted a book on marketing. Send recommendations!). After you explore a Game, quit it if it’s not worth it. But make sure you have properly explored the Game first: you don’t know what you don’t know.
Second, Games that are worth playing. I’m sure you immediately think of games you are good at. You’re good at math, logic, and economics, so you study Econometrics. That’s great. But good Games are good because of your goal in playing the Game, not because of your performance. Let me explain.
Ping pong (or Table tennis) is a perfect example for me. The only people I ever win against are people who have barely played the sport. So my friends frequently floor me with ridiculous margins (shoutout to Nick Anderson). But I still play it because it’s fun and I get better.
Returning to our pig question, I would rather be a human dissatisfied for the same reason. I value growth and knowledge too much to choose to be a satisfied pig. My objective is not plain happiness or satisfaction. Would you take the blue pill or the red pill?
It depends on where your heart lies, what you’re interested in, and what your goals are. It’s naive to think there is a right answer. There’s only a right answer, given your assumptions and goals.
So what games are worth playing for you? because you can’t play in them all.
#3 I learned something about self-compassion
Consider the question: What would you stop/start doing 6 years ago to improve your current situation? This can be regarding school, relationships, work, but we’ll call these hindsights.
It’s worth thinking carefully about what these 6-year hindsights are. We may not all have regrets, but we certainly can improve things about our past. Otherwise, you must have made perfect decisions throughout your life.
In fact, most people have to stop themselves from mentioning too many things so they don’t dwell on regrets. What’s so fascinating is that my 13-year-old self would really have struggled to independently think of these hindsights. It’s really hard. How hard?
Consider this question: What would you stop/start doing today to improve your situation in 6 years? - foresight
It turns out predicting the future is really hard and life is filled with ridiculous uncertainties. Covid cough cough.
So this means that we could probably spend our time more meaningfully today, but it’s really difficult to know what to change.
Continue to strive to make the best decisions every single day. But when you wish you had started something X months ago, learned a skill years ago, or spent more time with a friend,
Remember that hindsight is 20/20 and your foresight is much less impressive. Be kind to yourself.
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” – Chinese Proverb
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